Posted tagged ‘Oh Putain’

Putain De Plomberie

November 21, 2013

DSC_7682Several friends in France have asked for pictures of our new house, so here you go, chers amis: this is our bedroom.

It’s so ironic, because we’re always complaining about the zillions of plumbing problems we have in France, and we tell our French friends about how we never, no never, well, hardly ever, have any plumbing soucis in America. Well, that was before last week, when some ultra-slow toilet flushing called for a camera scoping out the drains from the master bathroom, which in its own perverse turn called for

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a huge trench to be dug in our bedroom floor. Our newly-sealed concrete floor, under our newly-laid carpet. It practically made me weep to see it all cracked open, dust and heaps of dirt everywhere, the old and corroded cast iron pipe laid bare, ready to be replaced with clean and modern PVC pipe. This is all right next to our bed, which is now separated from this pipe-fest by floor-to-ceiling sheets of the ever-fashionable Visqueen. The good news is that we can still use the bathroom, if we can manage to go outside, cross the deck, hop over the trench, and then, put nothing but water down the drain. Hello guest bedroom.

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At least we don’t have to deal with Monsieur “oh putain” Maurin, the plumber at our house in France. We joke that you can predict the bill as soon as he arrives by how many oh, putains he utters, and believe me, for a word not translatable in a family blog, he utters dozens. And since he knows next to nothing about plumbing, we normally have to call him every month. Fortunately, it’s the landlord who pays.

Here, though, it’s we who pay, and we who choose the folks who work on our house. Thus, since Monday, seven different people have removed carpet, cut concrete, dug dirt, and relaid pipe. Tomorrow the concrete will be re-poured, after the weekend the carpet will be re-laid, and then, ta da, toilet paper will re-enter our downstairs life. So, far away friends, that’s our glamorous American life. At least this time, if anyone says oh putain, it’s us.

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