Passing The Mom Torch

 

weddingOn this Mother’s Day I’m keenly aware that this will be my last year as The Mother; next year at this time I’ll be The Grandmother. Because yes, the future is upon us, and Eric and Jessica are bringing about this shift in the gravitational pull of the family by having a baby in October. (pause for applause)

I’ve always thought of myself as too young to be a grandmother, even though some women are great-grandmothers by the time they reach my age. And although I know that many women can’t wait to pass this particular milestone, being a grandmother has never been a part of my self image, and I can’t help but feel that I’m not ready. Although since this baby will have three grandmothers, I expect that I can still act as if I refuse to grow up, without endangering the grandmother quotient that every baby deserves.

It’s a bittersweet time. It makes me feel my age as I’ve never done before, but the thought of a new generation in our family is so reassuring. It makes me think often about Shel, how he would have been so proud and happy to see Eric all grown up (well, mostly) and becoming a father himself. How he too would have had his moments of ambivalence, still seeing himself as a perpetual rock and roller, how he would have had to work to settle into this new role, how he might have loved it.

So although I do have moments of quaking in my boots at the prospect, and although I’ll always still be a mother, I’m trying to awaken to the reality of becoming more matriarch than Mom. It’s one of life’s predictable transitions, if we’re lucky, and it all revolves around having someone new to love in this world. So little mystery person, I promise to give you all I can for as long as I can, and Jessica, next Mother’s Day will be all about you.

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6 Comments on “Passing The Mom Torch”

  1. Nancy Smith Says:

    What wonderful news!! Congratulations and best wishes to you all – those of you here already and you who are on the way – as you launch into new adventures.


  2. Congratulations!! My grand-babies (babies?) are now 16, 20, and 26. I can promise that if you loved being a Mom, you will really REALLY love being a Grandma… or whatever you plan to call yourself. (I’m Nonna Donna.) Grandmothers have a very special relationship with their grandchildren. They get to hear things that parents don’t know about, and they even become the “spoilers” because that privilege is all theirs. (Don’t worry. Being spoiled by a grandparent doesn’t have the same dire consequences as being spoiled by parents. That’s the beauty of being able to indulge the next generation.)

    BTW, I’m glad to see that you’ve maintained the same head of ultra-curly hair. And you look exactly the same as you did on your wedding day.

  3. Henk and Greta Says:

    Congratulations to all of you. Such good news. Welcome in the club, Abra.

  4. Judith Klinger Says:

    I totally understand!! Little Nina entered our lives in January and I had trouble reconciling how I could possibly be a grandmother and feeling the love for this beautiful baby.
    You have some time to adjust. Enjoy the pregnancy. Enjoy watching the nesting as the nursery gets feathered. And then… you’ll be smitten as all grandparents are.
    I also struggled with what to be called. Grammy? NO! Nana? Not so much. So far I’ve settled on Kahleesi, Mother of Dragons..and my son has humored me to a point, but we shall see! Not sure how Nina will wrap her tongue around Kahleesi..but you never know.
    Congratulations!
    Judith (aka Kahleesi)

  5. fabienne Says:

    Congratulations Abra ! Life goes on

  6. Allene Goforth Says:

    Congratulations, Abra! That’s a lovely photo of you all. When I met Eric that one time, he was 13 and eating something very basic while the rest of us were enjoying your delicious gourmet dinner.


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